This morning, I dropped my son off for his very first residential trip. His bag was packed with excitement, nerves, and a big dose of ‘have I forgotten something’?! He walked away beaming, full of anticipation. I waved him off with a smile. On the inside, my body felt full of tension, my heart tugged, and I went home with a quiet ache of letting go.

Whether it’s a school trip, a scout camp, or a sleepover at a friend’s house - that first overnight stay away from home can feel like a milestone we didn’t know would hurt quite like this.

So what do we do with the anxiety, the racing thoughts, and the ache in our chest? How do we support our own emotional wellbeing, while also modelling resilience and calm for our child?

This post is for every parent or caregiver navigating that first night without their little one under the same roof. Let’s walk through some compassionate, mindful ways to tend to both your heart and theirs.

1. Acknowledge What You're Feeling - Without Judgement

It’s okay to feel anxious. It’s entirely normal to feel that way.

The instinct to protect our children is hardwired into our nervous system. When they’re away, especially overnight and out of our direct care - that protective part of us lights up. You might notice physical symptoms: restlessness, irritability, or a lump in your throat. You might find your thoughts spinning through “what ifs.”

Instead of resisting those feelings, try this gentle mindfulness practice:

Place a hand over your heart. Take a slow breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Silently say to yourself:

“This is hard, and I’m doing my best.”
“It’s okay to feel this way. I’m not alone.”

Simply naming what you’re experiencing, such as “I’m feeling worried,” or “This feels unfamiliar and hard” can create space for self-compassion to enter.

2. Zoom Out: This Is a Milestone, Not a Mistake

Often, our anxiety tells us something is wrong. But in reality, your child sleeping away from home for the first time is a healthy, positive step in their development.

It’s a chance for them to build independence, confidence, and resilience. And it’s a chance for you to practice trust - in them, in the adults caring for them, and in yourself.

This doesn’t mean the feelings disappear. But it does help us reframe them:

• Instead of “I’m abandoning them,” try: “I’m giving them space to grow.”

• Instead of “What if they need me and I’m not there?” try: “They know I love them, and they can trust I will be there to pick them up when they get back.”

Our nervous systems respond to what we believe. When we shift from fear to trust, our body softens.

3. Anchor Yourself with a Simple Grounding Practice

If you find yourself spiralling into worry, here’s a tool you can use anywhere:

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can feel (e.g., chair under you, feet on the floor)

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

This brings your attention back to the present moment, where your breath is steady, your feet are on the ground, and you are safe.

4. Be Mindful of the Story You're Telling Yourself

Our minds are meaning-making machines. They often fill in gaps with worst-case scenarios. “What if he can’t sleep?” “What if she forgets her toothbrush?” “What if they feel lonely?”

Pause and ask yourself:

• Is this thought a fact, or a feeling?

• Is this worry helping me, or hurting me?

• Can I replace it with something more supportive?

You might shift to thoughts like:

• “It’s okay if they miss me - it means we’re close.”

• “They’re surrounded by caring adults.”

• “They’ll come home with stories and memories - and I’ll be here ready to listen.”

  

5. Create a Ritual of Connection (Even in Separation)

Children feel secure when they know we’re still emotionally connected, even when we’re apart.

Before they leave, you might:

• Slip a handwritten note into their bag

• Give them a small object that reminds them of you (a charm, a photo, a token)

• Share a simple mantra you both repeat: “You are brave, and I love you.”

These gestures remind them, and you, that connection doesn’t end when you say goodbye.

6. Care for Yourself While They're Away

Now that they’re off adventuring, what do you need?

It’s tempting to spend the entire time imagining how they’re doing - but don’t forget to check in with yourself too.

Ask:

• What would feel nurturing to me right now?

• Is there something I’ve been meaning to do that brings me happiness or peace?

• How can I use this space to recharge - not just wait?

You might take a mindful walk, journal your thoughts, connect with a friend, or even enjoy some guilt-free rest.

7. Debrief With Kindness When They Return

When your child comes home, resist the urge to bombard them with questions (as tempting as it is!).

Instead, let them settle in. Offer a calm, open space. Maybe say:

• “It’s so good to have you home.”

• “I missed you, and I’m so proud of you.”

• “Whenever you feel like sharing about your trip, I’d love to hear.”

They may share a flood of stories or just a few. Either way, you’re showing them that independence is safe - and so is coming back home.

Love Grows Through Letting Go

Separation is a part of parenting that stretches our hearts. It’s not easy, and it’s also not a sign you’re doing something wrong. Quite the opposite: it means you’re guiding your child toward trust, growth, and resilience.

So if you're navigating this moment right now, take heart. You’re not alone. You’re doing brave, beautiful work - even when it’s quiet, unseen, and a little bit teary.

Breathe. Trust. Let go a little. And know that your love goes with them, wherever they are.